Inside Out


I cringed so hard, my body folded in on itself and turned inside out. My vessels now hang out in the sun to dry; I put food into my oral cavity but it has nowhere to go and rots in my new skintestines. I’m losing weight, since my stomach is on the outside of my body now and there’s no way to get food to it. My dry flesh gums the food I cram inside the opening, but it goes nowhere.

My children don’t kiss me anymore – “Your teeth look weird on the outside!” my boy says, and “I miss your lips! Where am I supposed to kiss, Mama?” cries my little girl. They’ve stopped hugging me, they’re so afraid of bruising me deep inside by a simple bump on my new external layer.

My tongue flaps outside in the air, dehydrating, with no roof or lips against which to rub to make meaningful sounds. No one can hear what I’m trying to say — least of all the people I want to hear me. I need them to hear me.

I’m aware that you look at me now and see a monster — or an exhibit at the science museum.

I’m still a woman. I’m the same woman on the outside, and on the inside, only now I look different to you. I’m unrecognizable, and I’m mortified for you to see my sickening, naked structure. I’m lonely, longing, humiliated. 


Published by Beth Bates

Writer, writing coach, book editor, CNF instructor, connector, mom, wife, and lover of fresh air, grass, trees, birds, waves, sand, mountains, stories, and travel Let's be friends on Twitter @bethbates

4 thoughts on “Inside Out

  1. Wow. Heavy. And artistic. Even if your insides were disgusting, I would love you no matter what. You’re beautiful inside and out, to me.

  2. Hello Beth, I though your peice was pretty cool. Don’t know why we have to be so humiliated by whats on the inside. I have just regeistered a business called inside out communications and I found your picture on the internet, the flower, spirograph design as was wondering if I could make that my logo on my business card. It would be great if we could get intouch for a chat. I love your linr og thought. Warmly Kristy

  3. +Sorry about the lack of editing, holding baby in one hand. I meant I love your line of thought!

    1. Never worry about editing in comments on my blog! Good to hear from you, Kristy. Actually, if you Google “inside out art,” you’ll find that image. It doesn’t belong to me, so feel free to use it! 🙂 Thanks for visiting. -Beth

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